Are you one of those people who cares too much about what other people think of you?
Do you worry that people are always talking about you?
Are you afraid to express your true opinions?
Do you aim to please, everyone?
Do you find yourself saying ‘Yes’, when you really mean ‘NO’?
It is time to stop caring what others think. Why?
You give away your power
You give up your happiness
You live in fear
Your focus is scattered if you are always at the mercy of others demands and opinions.
So how can you begin to care less about how others view you?
- Find out who you are. What are your preferences, your desires, your dreams?
- Practice self-acceptance. If you want to do something, don’t automatically ask others for their opinion or their permission. Start by making smaller decisions for yourself.
- Learn to accept that some people won’t be happy if you say ‘No’ to them, especially at first.
- The only real opinion of you that matters – is YOUR’S!
- Decide how much help you can give to others and plan accordingly. This is a good way of softening the blow at first if you are always someone who does a favor when asked. Next time someone asks you to do ‘X’ tell them that you are sorry you can’t do ‘X’ but you are willing to do ‘Y’. Or you could practice asking for a favor in return, for example when a friend asks you to babysit, you could reply with ‘oh yes, I was going to ask if you could babysit for me one night, let’s do a swap’. You will soon find out who is genuinely interested in helping you and those who expect help but don’t want to return the favor in any way. If this is the case:
- Find a new tribe!
- Finally stop judging yourself and start loving yourself.
Fear is the basic emotion that limits our life. It controls our comfort zone and dictates our actions – if we let it. Fear limits us from taking risks too often and fear is what prevents us from living a full life.
This week’s List for Living focuses on dealing with our fears.
- What are your greatest fears in life? If you had to name your top 3 fears, what would they be?
- Once you have your top 3 fears, lets examine them more closely. Write each fear down and start becoming curious about each one. Where did it come from? Often our fears are handed down to us, sometimes through the generations and they feel like part of our very fabric. What is the fear stopping you from doing? How is it affecting your life? What is it protecting your from?
- Step into your fear. Face it head on. Imagine that it has come to fruition. What would that feel like? Often we will try anything to avoid feeling what the fear is trying to protect us from, it is too painful to contemplate. But if we can step into our fear and really face it then it loses its power over you.
- Who would you be if you let your fears go? Our identity is often bound up with our fears, we see ourselves as victims of circumstance and as such we invest in our own fears. For example, a person who is frightened of having their heart broken, will identify themselves as a person who is unlucky in love. Their fear will guide them to unsuitable people so they can reinforce this impression of themselves over time.
- What would you do if you let your fears go? What are your fears preventing you from doing? Now you have examined your fears closely, are they justified? What are the consequences of letting your fears interfere with your goals? Write down the worst case scenarios that your fears are trying to protect you from and ask yourself, how realistic are they? Are there actions you can take to minimize those risks?
This list is designed for you to start bringing your fears into your conscious mind and become more familiar with them. If we can bring our fears out into the open and start questioning them, we become less afraid of living with them and this takes away some of their power.