In this week’s ‘List for Living’ I am going to be asking you to Change Your Story. I am writing this post on New Years Eve and I cannot think of a better way to begin a New Year than by starting it off by acknowledging what a wonderful person you are. So here is the list which will take us into a New Year:
- Begin to notice the story that you tell about yourself. By this I mean what beliefs do you hold about yourself, that you project onto the world? These beliefs may take a while to become aware of, as they rise from your subconscious mind to your conscious mind.
- Clarify the story that you are currently projecting about yourself. Is it a positive message that you are projecting onto the world and the people you surround yourself with? If it is and you feel good about your self image great!
- If you don’t like the image that you portray, it is time to change it for a new one!
- Take a sheet of paper and make a list of the beliefs that make up your current story. On the other side of the sheet, start to look at how you can alter these current beliefs to reflect the new image that you wish to project. So for example, a couple of years after I got divorced, the belief that I projected on the world was that of a single mother, relying on benefits, to bring up 4 children. I had a victim mentality in which I wanted people to feel sorry for what had happened to me. I suddenly realized however that this image no longer served me. I wanted to see myself in a more positive light. First I had to take responsibility for where I was right now and praise myself for my achievements so far. Now my story gradually became that of a woman who was working hard to give her children and herself a better life. Because my image of myself started to change, so did the way people treated me.
- The way that the world treats you, is a reflection of the way you treat yourself. Ask yourself if you are treated as you would wish to be and if not, how can you treat yourself better? A male friend of mine recently told me that in a relationship a woman deserves to be cherished. This belief had never occurred to me until this point, but now I have incorporated it into my belief system and it starts first with cherishing myself. Any man who comes along in the future and wishes to have a relationship with me, will take his cue on how to treat me by noticing what story about myself, I project onto the world.
- So what story do you want to tell about yourself? Think of when you are at your most wonderful and start from there. Spend some time feeling what it is like to be that person and think how that person thinks and acts. Soon it will become second nature to live the story that you are creating for yourself.
You may be wondering about the title for my blog. Well there are a few reasons:
- You will find it easier to achieve YOUR goals, changes in lifestyle and dreams when you get past the sense of overwhelm that faces you, the minute you try to even chrome://newtab/think of beginning a new project.
- I am a person who, when faced with a big project / goal / dream, feels overwhelmed at the beginning, so I always start out by looking for ways to put the steps I need to take into a list. I am a self confessed list-a-holic!
- I thought that everybody had the ability to break down complex tasks into simplified steps, but it turns out that I was wrong. Where I see a logical step, some people see only confusion. Imagine my delight at finding a hidden talent – list making!
- I also had a coaching practice in England, and while in the courses that I taught, people would often come to the realization that they had a goal they wished to pursue, only a few were brave enough to take a leap into to unknown, once they had come to that realization. Most people wanted to build up their confidence slowly first, often in unrelated areas of their lives before – and this is important to note – they saw themselves as the type of person who is successful at achieving …… (insert goal here).
- I have achieved some major goals in my life but it was not until recently that I realized that I had unconsciously followed the same checklist of steps to achieve them. You can read more about them in my book https://coachingtoconfidence.com/achieveyourgoals but this blog consists in a series of challenges that you can use to gain the confidence to change your life and follow your dreams
Are you ready? Lets go:
Each week, beginning on a Sunday, I will produce a list, the goal of which will either challenge you and shake you out of your comfort zone or prompt you to start questioning the things that you do in life. Could you do things a different way? Could you eliminate certain things that prevent you from achieving more of what you want in life?
The aim is to enrich your life, simplify it (so you have time to pursue other goals) or change it (perhaps in an awesome, mind-blowing way – who knew you loved to run mountain trails naked at midnight! Or just in a way which gradually increases your confidence and reveals your personal likes and dislikes. If this list does not speak to you, either move on to another of the lists or repeat one that you loved. The lists are in no particular order and the project is meant to be fun, to open up your world to different possibilities in life. I will follow the lists also to get me out of my comfort zone and ready to tackle some new goals of my own. I will put my comments below as to how I got on and I hope you will do the same. One of the great things about being an online community is the encouragement you can get from other people, whose only motivation is to see you succeed. As the great Zig Ziglar said ‘You can get anything you want, as long as you help others get what they want’.
May your successes all be great ones.